Dr. Kevin Keough

A FATHER AND SON LEARNING HORSE SENSE

"I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. " ~J.D. Salinger,

SPECIAL MOMENTS AS A FATHER

(This is an excerpt from an introduction for an interview with Joe Camp author of "The Soul of a Horse.....explains the odd combination of paragraphs)

We live in interesting times. People have lost connection with
Nature-the natural rhythms of life. As our disconnection from the
natural world deepens so our lives and relationships are diminished.
Our disconnection from the natural world has devolved to the point that
astute observers alert us to the emergence of a new phenomenon-NATURE
DEFICIT DISORDER afflicting most people though most evident AND
INSIDIOUS in our children the first generation to grow up without some
meaningful connection to nature. The worst aspect of this dis-ease is
lack of awareness, denial, or contempt of such a notion we might suffer
from it. It's worth remembering that people walk around not knowing
they suffer from cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and other diseases of
civilization until it's too late. Nature Deficit Disorder is real,
it's symptoms are visible and worsening....and the prognosis isn't
looking so good at the moment. The antidote--b est medicine is
spending time in nature and reconnecting with animals----increasingly
horses are thought to be an extraordinarily potent antidote

That said, I share a bit about my son's thoughts about animals and his
first real encounter with horses as an unusual way to introduce today's
guest ~ Since he was old enough to talk my son has insisted that
animals have souls, that many species are smarter than people, and most
are easier to get along with than people. He has listened to his father
make frequent references to horses and the difficulty I have finding
words to describe my experiences with them. Recently, he joined me for
the first time on a weekly visit to a local horse farm. We spent some
time hanging out with the horses in the stables before moving out to
visit the horses in the fields. About 90 minutes into the visit, while
sitting on a rock in a field, with horses moving around, some
stopping to visit, I asked him if he 'got the horse thing' Without
missing a beat, an inspired smile on his face he nodded. We shared
this special moment in time, entering a different realm

We're no longer just dog people. We've grown fond of a humorous horse saying:

from J.D. Salinger from Cather in the Rye:

"I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. ~J.D. Salinger,

The Catcher in the Rye

AN ELDER SPEAKS

There was a time when Elders were accorded the respect that is natural and proper. Most of us find it hard not to dismiss ideas and customs from different cultures. It seems we are quite sure we are the most sophisticated and enlightened people on the planet. Rarely, do we stop to consider the possibility that 'primitive people' might know a few things we don't.

Reminds me of the old saying in the Bible: "...God has kept these things hidden from the learned and the wise..........unless you become as little children........the least among you will be the greatest......and so on.

I have been fortunate to spend time with lots of people considered by the 'deciders' to be 'less thans'. Without fail, I've found them to be so much easier to be around than the elite ruling class.

Perhaps the most remarkable human being I've ever met is a 70 ish Dakotah Sioux medicine man who continues to live in the natural way according to the customs of his people. I realize his words might seem odd or incomprehensible. They speak to my heart.

So..... for those with ears to hear.............
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Longwalker Speaks

The rattle is a voice given to us by Mother Earth
She can't talk to us like we talk in a voice
So we have to create a voice for Her
That the people will hear.

So who did we go to?

We didn't have the knowledge
As humans
Because we're limited as to our abilities
In the spiritual world

But because Mother Earth deals with life and death
Every second that the clock goes around

That she's so familiar
That we take the elements
How do we get them?
We have to go to the thing live

So we go to an ant hill
And there's a ceremony and there's song
There's prayers that go with it

And we ask the ants for help

And in asking them for this help
They bring us stones
From where ever they collect them
We don't ask them where
It's enough that they bring them to us

We collect these stones

And we put them in these rattles
And, uh, fifty-two of them
Each one is a voice from the past

And the people say
"Man, they laugh at that"
And I say
"Laugh if you want, but, listen...

While you're making fun, open one ear
To reality.
Let the other one be happy, and destructive"

So, the stones that the ants bring
When we lay our people to rest in the natural way
Not in a coffin, but in a natural way

The little creapers and crawlers come
And they distribute our body
Evenly, back into Mother Earth

We become one with Her
We become productive
See.. uh.. we're using
We never leave
We go back to the earth

And "dust to dust" they say
In due time
We're blown into the atmosphere
We come down in rain and snow
And this rain and snow is absorbed
By all creation again

It goes into the water

We're drinking it agian
We're eating it again
We become productive

So how can Man not save our own brothers
With creation?
We are just one massive cell
With so much energy and beauty
That the short time on the physical form

It's such a sin, a waste to tie it up in all the destruction

This is the voice that is going into each little stone
We put in that rattle
All this power, knowledge, energy
Then.....

The Book Opens

...We have the feathers of our birds
Whatever you use from whatever area
Whatever bird is sacred to that tribe
You should never say 'No, mine is better' or
'Mine is more pretty'

Because Grandfather made everything its equal
Yours is this color, mine's this
But the power is identical
If we first understand that
So when we add the feathers to the rattle
We say that this is going to take our message to Grandfather

In a sense
But Grandfather is all around us
We don't have to do nothing
Grandfather's here
But it is a direction for man,
To make him feel like he is doing something
When in reality we are doing nothing

We can't identify two rocks and feathers and rattles
They become a symbol of Indian medicine man
Chanting on TV
Or a rock and roll star shaking his rattles because it feels good

The eagles come
They hear, they hear something, their truth

The hear the eagles blowing whistles
They come and they investigate it
Then they circle above our sundance
They circle until they go out of sight
It looks and it feels watching during the sundance
You can see them going and going

And pretty soon the sun starts dancing

2. Quick Words

3. Shall We Play the Game

4. Semati Siyonpme

... musically, spiritually
To get to the second one
If we haven't haven't done both here

Then the second one is to clear one up
And by the time we get to the fourth
If there are angels then maybe that's what we'll become
But the ...
Maybe about time we get to the fourth one
We'll see the reality of who we really are

5. Good Day Morning

... the people should rest in a natural way
Not in a coffin, but in a natural way
The little creatures and crawlers come
And they distribute our body evenly
Back into Mother Earth

We become one with her
We become conductive (?)

6. Leap into the Inconceivable

7. Song of Home

8. Building Bridges

9. Sound and Color

10. Longwalker Speaks

The rattle is a voice given to us by Mother Earth

She can't talk to us like we talk in a voice
So we have to create a voice for Her
That the people will hear.

So who did we go to?
We didn't have the knowledge
As humans
Because we're limited as to our abilities

In the spiritual world

But because Mother Earth deals with life and death
Every second that the clock goes around
That she's so familiar
That we take the elements
How do we get them?
We have to go to the thing live

So we go to an ant hill
And there's a ceremony and there's song
There's prayers that go with it
And we ask the ants for help

And in asking them for this help
They bring us stones
From where ever they collect them

We don't ask them where
It's enough that they bring them to us

We collect these stones
And we put them in these rattles
And, uh, fifty-two of them
Each one is a voice from the past

And the people say

"Man, they laugh at that"
And I say
"Laugh if you want, but, listen...
While you're making fun, open one ear
To reality.
Let the other one be happy, and destructive"

So, the stones that the ants bring

When we lay our people to rest in the natural way
Not in a coffin, but in a natural way
The little creapers and crawlers come
And they distribute our body
Evenly, back into Mother Earth

We become one with Her

We become productive
See.. uh.. we're using
We never leave
We go back to the earth
And "dust to dust" they say
In due time
We're blown into the atmosphere
We come down in rain and snow

And this rain and snow is absorbed
By all creation again

It goes into the water
We're drinking it agian
We're eating it again
We become productive

So how can Man not save our own brothers

With creation?
We are just one massive cell
With so much energy and beauty
That the short time on the physical form
It's such a sin, a waste to tie it up in all the destruction

This is the voice that is going into each little stone

We put in that rattle
All this power, knowledge, energy
Then.....

11. Maazo Maazo

12. Enter Ye the Mystery School

Now I, I have the feeling
I feel good talking about this and
Almost, this is really the first time,

In talking to you
Or anybody like you in this ...
I feel we have an obligation
I've been to the mountains now
And I healed myself
They said, you can't heal nobody else until you've healed yourself

Clean your backyard up so it looks nice
Invite your friends
And if they accept what you have done
Over a period of time
Now, you listen to their comments
Good and bad
And clean it again
Four times

Okay, we've done that four times
And everybody is happy
We have to offer it to them
Now I said my backyard's clean
My backyard, not my mind.
My heart is still dirty
A little bit
But I'm cleaning it

It's going...
I don't know what chemicals to use (giggle)
And I'll try to get it out
I still have this...
I still have a feeling in there that
I'm really ashamed of now

...Everything I do is life, Mother Earth

The universe, the solar system
Beyond where the red man has gone
Beyond where technology can't ever go
Can't reach it
We have to respect our women
Our little women
The young girls
We have to give them back their right

In a place that is really theirs
This place is not for the man
We are only the caretakers
We are the gardeners
And the gardener will not get his pay unless the garden is beautiful
We've got a long way to go to make our garden beautiful

We have to give our women back their role in life
Their voices inside their ....

So when we add the feathers of our birds
Whatever you use from whatever area
Whatever bird is sacred to that tribe
You should never say 'No, mine is better' or

'Mine is more pretty'
Because Grandfather made everything its equal
Yours is this color, mine's this
But the power is identical
If we first understand that
So when we add the feathers to the rattle

We say that this is going to take our message to Grandfather

A SACRED FATHER-DAUGHTER ADVENTURE REMEMBERED

A MAGICAL DAY WITH MY DAUGHTER This is a recounting of a day with my daughter some 14 years ago. These precious times live in eternity. If this was the only 'good day' of my life, I'd feel fortunate beyond words. Our children grow up so fast. The pace of life makes it very hard to spend as much time as we ought with our children. My biggest regret--and something that haunts me--is how much time I missed with them. I had to work very long hours to pay the bills--not to have a fancy house, or buy lots of useless 'toys'. A father's job is to provide and protect. Many fathers in past generations worked themselves to death-literally-to provide for their families whom they rarely saw. It is unfortunate-------------no, it's plain wrong to dismiss so many of the things fathers do for their families. It's so fashionable to bad-mouth fathers and portray them as bubbling fools. It goes without saying there are lousy fathers out there. I can only shake my head at the arrogance of women---usually radical feminist types---who suggest fathers aren't necessary or that mothers are naturally better parents than fathers. Women aren't necessarily even better mothers than fathers. There is nothing like a father's love for his children and nothing brings a father deeper joy than his children. Enough of the 'fathers need to be more like mothers if they want to be decent parents.................. _____________________________________________________________________________________ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bLSdNnqajk I believe this is a clip from the Allentown Fairgrounds on 6.19.1994 and a magical day it was. Please don't let 'names' and 'places' get in the way of the real story here. My daughter, Katie, was 7 years old. Her favorite 'singers' were Amy Grant and Jon Anderson. This child was an angel--not in disguise--a real angel. It was a divine time in her life and our relationship. I was still 'Daddy'. She was 'my Child of God'. Four years earlier, she announced one evening that she wanted to marry me as we were hanging out in the family room--and she was Serious. Her Mom walked us through the wedding vows. "Do you Daddy take Katie to be your Daughter, to hold and love forever....till death to you part ?" Yes, absolutely and forget th death part...it's for forever way past infinity". My girl scolded me "Dadddddddyyyyyy....". "Do you Katherine Anne take Daddy to be your Daddy, to hold....love...in good times and bad......?" "I do" Okay, Daddy, you can kiss your daughter. Katie threw open her arms and made clear I was to pick her up so we could dance. She'd pick the music. Her brother, Michael, about a year old, scarfed down the cake. Then, Katie directed me and Michael to sit on the couch. She plopped herself on my lap and pulled Michael in "Michael Jon, you put your head here on Daddy's chest on this side...No Michael....that is my spot". After positioning herself, she said: Mommy, will you please put on that song "Hurry Home to Your Heart". And the three became one. And I knew I was the most fortunate man in the world. if I'd died then, how could I ever complain ? Never in a billion years, could I tell you.... Every day was filled with such precious times. She was a 'daddy's girl' and we were in Heaven. Katie wanted to meet her favorite musicians. "Daddy, will you take me to see Amy Grant ? Can I meet her....Daddy, I want to go to that concert with Yes and Jon Anderson. I want to give him something and get him to sign my book". Okay, it will take 1.5 hours to get there and the show will last 3 hours-are you up for it ?" "Daddy........................". Okay Child I'll take care of it. over the next month or two: "Daddy, did you get the tickets yet ? We have to go buy them a present...". So, Katie's first concert an all day event at the Allentown Fairgrounds one afternoon and evening in late spring. She picked out some pretty summer dress with her Mom, telling Stanley and Brian--her friends from next store as we were leaving. "Totally cool Katie". I think she hugged them. And off we went. God only knows how many topics we covered on the way up. I'd become friendly with Jon and Rick sometime in the late 1980's. So, during the "Talk" tour we had 'backstage' passes for before and after the show. When we arrived, we wandered around the back stage area which was set up like a big picnic celebration. We just people watched, made up stories about people, talked about her friends, her dreams, and all the rest. She'd wander off to explore and return to fill me in about her adventures. She wanted to watch them set up the stage and listen to the sound check. So, we did. When Katie waved, the guys waved back. "Daddy !, they see me....we are waving to each other". She clapped and gave standing ovations as the guys laughed and waved some more. We wandered around as we watched the people begin to arrive. There were a fair number of kids there. Katie continued to wander off and return with 'status reports'. We sat and chatted with with Ed Sciaky,the Philly DJ, off on on. Ed the consumate grump softened around Katie. We chatted with Billy Sherwood's mother and stepfather (one of the guys in the band). Before long the music started. She was dancing and singing and strolling around. Sometimes she wanted to be on my shoulders, some in my arms, some holding hands, lots of venturing out and checking in. She knew all the songs. I noticed the crowd around us seemed to be having fun watching a child at play. She'd wander right up to the stage, and wave but only at the 'right' times and she didn't need any help knowing when they were. This was "God music". And Katie was entranced, laughing, listening, putting her head on my shoulder during quiet tunes. Time stopped and Eternity pierced the veil. We both knew it though no words were necessary. Father and daughter, together as one, moving around in the world, having so much true fun. We were making good music together and with Michael and some with their Mom, and in all the other circles. The concert was an outward manifestation of this and a celebration of this time of Times. She waved off and on and the guys waved back -- Mostly Jon and Trevor Rabin-who was the big 'heartthrob' for the girls and young ladies at the time. Can you imagine such a thing ? After the show, we waited a bit till they opened the gate for about 15 people who had passes. As we moved toward the trailer where the guys were hanging out, Trevor Rabin-heartthrob appeared" Hey man, hello there young lady, are you having fun ?" "Yes !...you were so good". He chuckled. Anyway, we wandered into the trailer. Katie might as well have been hanging with her friends. "Daddy, there is Jon Anderson...is that his wife ?" With that, they waved her over with these huge smiles. My girl brought a book called "Change We Must" written by an old indigenous healer(also name of a solo cd by Jon with the London Chamber Academy) with her to get signed. We'd come across a collection of Native American proverbs called "The Soul Would Have No Rainbows if the Eyes Had No Tears" to give Jon and his fiancee Jane. Jon put her on his knee and they struck up a conversation. Laughing, telling stories, just loving the moment. I noticed the 20 or so people in the trailer were watching a child at play and feeling very good. All was so right that night. Katie got her book signed and gave them their present. They were taken aback. It was a very cool book and Jon was thrilled-might have seen his eyes well up. More hugs and and surge in awareness of what was happening. This child was running the show. As Jane engaged in girl talk with my girl I chatted with Jon for a bit. "She is an angel...she is an angel". "Yeah", I said, "She is my 'Animation'--a reference to a tune he'd written about the birth of his first child, Deborah. "I'm glad you found Jane". "You've no idea...." Yeah, I do....you'd be lost without her......." as Jane looks up and smiles. "Take good care of him....I'm so happy you found each other". Katie pipes in "So, when are you guys getting married ?" Big smiles throughout the trailer. "Pretty soon". Before long it was time to go. They picked Katie up for a three way hug. Seems they needed it more than Katie for sure. A bow to Jane as I held her hand. Guy bear hug for Jon. "Till next time". Ed Sciaky the grump lightened up again. Each one of the guys shook her hand. We wandered out and ran into Trevor Rabin who had just inhaled. "Leaving already ?" Yeah, we have a long ride back. "Well, come visit again...are you guys gonna be in Philly?" Yeah. "Great, see you then young lady in that pretty spring dress". And off we went into the night. Never in a million years could I possibly tell you what a magical time it was with my daughter in those years. When I first tried to post this, it was too much. How can I ever tell you what that day was like ? An angel had been entrusted to my care. It was a night of Nights during such a Sacred time. In quiet moments, alone, I am pulled to me knees shedding tears of ....................................... We were two souls together entwined, as we are now and ever shall be...living in and out of time....and nothing can ever change that. We are Love and Everlasting life.....

HORSES HEALING A WEARY WARRIOR

A SHORT TALE

I'll share a story to hint at an answer.  About 9 months ago, I turned in to a horse farm-on a whim-after work. At 48, I am making a career transition away from full-time self-employed private practice in clinical psychology and 12 years of police psychology--working 90 hr weeks, always on call, few vacations,....in the trenches.  I was just beginning to become aware of  the toll it was taking---because I truly entered 'time-warps' seeing patients, doing what I did seemed natural (like it wasn't work), and all indicators suggested I had a knack for it.

For years I drove by this horse farm feeling the pull to reconnect with horses...this time it felt like the Universe was telling me 'get your dumb ass in there or there will be hell to pay".  I chatted with the owner for a bit, told her of my intention to let horses teach me and see about teaming with them to work with people, and got the nod to go hang out. 

Experiencing a strange sense of relief and excitement I ventured in a stable with 5 horses. Each was at the back of their stall facing away.  I signed and said 'damn, is it good to see you guys'.  Went to the first stall, rested my arms on the door and just stood their for a bit.  Horse turns to check me out, walks over and puts his neck in my right arm as I opened it up to greet him.  He dropped his weight into my arm, nudged my head, so I put my left arm around his neck.  We seemed to sigh in unison.  This goes on for a few minutes then I start talking. " Yeah, I know, people are toooooooooo much,  you look as beat as I feel,...yeah, I imagine carrying all those people around can get to be a serious drag...people are too much....yeah I think I get you or you are getting me or something.....hell, feels like we are hanging on to each other for dear life...well-not that dramatic....but well you know...."  Silence and adjusting the 'hug'....think I was tapping out a heartbeat on his neck.

Essentially, a repeat with the next 4 horses.  I became aware of how burned out I was.  I was partly stunned-partly not that the horses greeted me this way but so enormously grateful.  I told each one.  I was too numb to shed tears...that came later.          . A week later, I took my 21 yo daughter, a natural with horses, and they pretty much ignored me  So I said "Okay, I get it...yeah she is way prettier, smells better, easier energy....just remember she is my daughter....well nix the last sentence....thank god you guys are horses...I wish you could give the boys a few lessons"

Anyway, the thought of private practice is unsettling. The coolest thing I do is hang out with the horses. I don't think I'll ever go back to seeing patients--not the way I did.  I'm thinking if there are some willing horses maybe we could cover each others backs and do some good.             I imagine it depends on a host of interacting factors like goodness of fit between their temperament and pre-retirement responsibilities, health, burn-out or not, quality of post-retirement activities/care, etc. I shudder to think what life is like for most horses....thank God for people I read about on this list.

MARTIAL ARTS OF EVERYDAY LIFE

"Let's put our heads together and see what kind of world we can leave for our children" -Sitting Bull ______________________________________________________________________________________ MARTIAL AWARENESS, STRATEGY, AND TRAINING FOR EVERYDAY LIFE Yeah, we're all short on time. I starting to make peace with the fact there's no way I'll ever catch up and some things will definitely fall by the wayside. Clint Eastwood came out with that classic line we tend to remember-"A man has to know his limitations"...more or less. It was great when we saw it for the first time. A decade or two passes and we actually have to engage the unpleasant task of looking at and make peace with our particular limitations. No easy thing. The 'shame' striker starts getting busy with improved tactics.to come at us with--the 'intrapersonal' (the chatter we experience that seems not to be 'slain or minimized early enough. My take is we tend not to be as 'on' with martial awareness and action in the intrapersonal zone (how we talk to ourselves, attitudes re self, martial strategies and tactics need be as solid as our physical ones. Same with the 'interpersonal' martial arts of everyday life. Truthfully, I think there are more strikes happening and we aren't optimally trained to manage this zone. Guys who can't stop themselves from intervening when predators appear tend to pick the wrong women. We are nearly hard wired and pretty well not given much 'actionable intelligence' to guide our movement in this realm. My take is more training in this realm will make our lives way less stressful. it's impossible to keep track of everything being thrown in our direction, and all the rest. these days. The 'transpersonal' realm that encompasses our battles with demons like fear, doubt, laziness, pride, sloth, envy, and the rest.are not to be underestimated. Plates are full of serious stuff but there never seems time to push pause for even a moment. This time urgency we are prone to feel is a symptom of PTSD but also a natural reaction to too much incoming fire/demands/etc. Women run circles around us on this one. Baby boys startle 4 times more often than female infants. Infant boys can't maintain eye contact nearly as long as girls. Parents-caretakers expect baby boys at 1-8 weeks to be keeping pace with the girls or else it's declared there's a problem with the boy. Women push back hard when the little ones are under 3 months old certain that they know better as a general rule. So we watch, sometimes vaguely aware that something is off in the house. Parents activate the 'shame virus' countless times in the first few months of life. Baby boys can read and process body language and tend to be spot on in detecting a caretaker's displeasure....anger, frustration, worry, whatever. Boys learn to believe we totally suck at 'relationships' with everybody especially women. We are rasied to not reveal and keep hidden and secret our vulnerabilities. Girls learn they will receive star treatment when they reveal their vulnerabilities. Interesting, men appear to be primed to feel shame as a core experience while women find fear to be the core experience precipitated by stress, tension at work, eggshells at home, and so on. These gender differences are rooted in genetics, biology, and environmental influences. These differences or more to the point, our failure to invest time in keeping these enemies outside of the sacred circle causes major problems. "We know not what we do"--men don't get what they do to women and women don't get how often and deeply you shame your men, not intentionally-just because no body bothered to tell you. Guys are just as in need of learning about women. So the real tragedy is that good people, are not intending to and don't believe they could be harming their partners. Union become dis-union. Connection is disconnected, The sense of dis-connection causes pain for both couples. However men experience shame when their wives feel fear. Women tend to feel more fear as men withdraw and pull back as their fear moves them to address the problem. Neither wants the dis-connection and neither know what the hell is happening. The loneliness of disconnection is at the root of every argument, cold shoulder, nastiness, that fuels our disappointment or resentment. Relationships do fail though neither partner is doing anything wrong per se. We don't understand the extent to which fear and shame drive us apart. It's all a terrible mistake. Our confusion just essentially increases the agonizing dis-connection men and women feel....amping up fear and shame. Tragic. Period. The good news is we do have solid guy friendly and woman approved information, and educational classes to pass along fundamental information and learn some basic skills------not the usual communication skills in an interesting twist. Curious turn of events in the research about men and women getting along. Turns out men have be on about one thing anyway-solid research and 50 years of working with couples, a male and female psychologist have integrated solid cultural anthropology and the now very solid research on body language and communication that back 100 % a man's 'contention that talking about our relationship is not only not the solution---- but it's likely to be the ultimate culprit in couples calling it quits. Couples are not disconnected because they have poor communication skills, rather their poor verbal communication simply reflects dis-connection For the record, it's clear men want closer and deeper relationships with women just as much as women--maybe more. Most men aren't looking for their partners to change in any big way. Bottom line: divorced men don't fare well at all after divorce as compared to women. Every single areas of functioning becomes impaired to one degree or another. Men have much higher rates of everything from car collisions, alcoholism, depression, suicide, unemployment, medical problems, inadequate social support or rootedness in the community. Isolation seems the best strategy to minimize additional shame hits. I will admit without a woman in my life---a good women who promises to commit to raise love to an art form---or for guys---to recognize that love is a type of military service according to an old Latin proverb. ______________________________________________ So, it makes sense we identify ways to collaborate to make sure all couples have access to the most scientifically solid information is blended with wisdom and insight scientists will never measure. Let the two types of knowledge become integrated--let them consummate so we can help each other and prepare our kids to avoid all the mistakes we unknowingly made...and knowingly too. These brief educational models don't need to be done by psychologists or mental health types. Anybody with good speaking abilities, and decent teaching skills can play teacher. People, no joke. We have the information and 'technology to fundamentally improve our mariages and keep another 20 % together over the long haul. We need to teach our kids to pick the right people to date and marry. They aren't learning anything good in the 'Hooking up culture".....if this phenomenon doesn't motivate us to act swiftly and effectively--we ought have the decency to tell our kids we apologize for failing them. When we bring a little one into the world----"my needs and my time" are understandable expressions of the pain of growth but beyond point it is just whing and a refusal to accept the responsibilities of being parents. So, this is an unscholarly introduction to a series of posts on men taming shame, women taming fear, simple tips to make relationships last, deal with the challenges of raising kids, imparting our values to them, preparing them for the real world. We don't so much need experts; Some much is already known. We just need down to earth people able to write and talk about the fundamentals of walking the path of a Man, the principles that guide our relationships with our women, children, friends, enemies, and fear of the dark.... The forces of time and space, invisible forces, are all shifting in major ways during our lives. These are the days will be days that people will talk about. The Internet along with innumerable global hot spots, creation of technology we don't know how to control, presents us with a crisis......danger and opportunity. There is every reason to feel good about our chances of seeing changes in and around us that we dare not dream right now. It's already happening say the Elders and the humble....everybody except the learned and the wise. Time to look for collaborations, promote each other's work, some loose collaborations, remaining open to see the opportunities unfolding in some organic natural process. I would not underestimate the passion, vision, drive, and fortitude present in the people I've come to know a bit in this cyberspace Universe. There is plenty of work to do. Plenty of things people really need. We offer it to them in Solidarity, they were give us the green stuff--frog backs necessary to pay the bills. Working smarter rather than harder, we get more done and plenty more time to have fun...........I wouldn't bet against it. The Universe believe She is sacred. I am not about to argue about Her. Wake up calls have been sounding seems from here anyway. So, collective brainstorms..........unpect the unexpected. It matters. Anytime I need a jolt of why I keep slogging on I look into the eyes of an infant, a little one, my children, brothers, sisters, and Elders ______________________________________________________________________